Surgery

I wrote these 2 posts a while ago but couldn't publish them.

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Just finished surgery. It was not that fun , with the resident, SHO, and aspiring interns fighting to scrubs in and do all the doable. We were left to re-clerking and examining. But no real hands on!  Shoot me now. I don't know how I feel about surgery. I know it was less stressful in term of the amount of information you need to know.  But I left wondering  why I choose medicine as a career? It is rarely rewarding. It is draining.

For the majority of the past 2 months I was feeling " unconnected".

I really need friends to chat with

I need to exercise

To do list

Sleep properly

Study

Read outside blogosphere

Study more

Spend some random time in the hospital

Do some aerobic

Buy some clothes ( the current ones stink before I put them on).

 

Soap opera

Spoiler alert: I am on the verge of crying. Almost made it as the role model for DSM 4/ major depressive disorder criteria. I am the living example of neurotic patient SigmundFreud hadn't dare to analyze.



A gentle reminder: I had a nice hair cut recently! see previous blog.

 I have loads to do! I think my sincere love to the musculoskeletal system is translating into this ortho umm love? (eww, I am throwing up already ). Or is it the fact I am over thinking about my little sister travel? Things in my part of the world is "unique". Call us retarded, but  we are the group. No space for a selfish individual (theoretically speaking of course). And let me put it straight: I am a big believer in the group thing that I took it to a new level.( what is that? You think I wrote that to make up for my nonsense homesickness ?)



My parents are sixty something. They are fragile. Living almost alone. I worry about them all the time. I fear my dad will had ,yet, another heart attack and the idea of mum wondering helplessly turned my life into a nightmare. I am worried that the annoying pain mother is feeling in her operated breast is a recurrence. I am terrified of losing my parents for they are life for me.* I am afraid of the day my younger siblings will become orphans. Yes I am so spoiled. Yes I am so attached to my parents. Yes they made sure each one of us know how proud they are to have us. They are life for me ( have I said that already? And yes I enjoy life and do things to my utter happiness. And no they have no say in my career choice.)

This homesickness thing wasn't the norm.  It was there in my first year in college and  after my parents develop these ailment  came back.**   ( why I remembered Zarathustra all the sudden?)

I have a presentation*** to do and an assessment to study for. I was shamelessly indulged in self pity the whole weekend, that I feel stupid and robotic right now. I need to get started. I'll take a shower, dance ( don't even ask), maybe write a post about a couple of interesting cases/stories I saw so far in ortho. Then I'll embrace ortho.

P.S. I just noted I had such crying episode while in pediatric rotation. It is funny I was considering both as my future specialty of choice. Ortho is lovely trust me. You need to know the basic and then everything will fall into place ( I guess).

* I was literally sobbing while writing that

**I stopped sobbing here

*** Oh, do I dare to say I was nicely prepared, hadn't my consultant totally changed the topic hours before my weekend started. Good thing the older topic was broad ( and interesting) and  serve me good in revising some anatomy . I thought I was the master of compression neuropathies!

Welcome to my blog

Hi there,

So this is my first entry. This blog is going to be about the change med school did in my life. Mostly ranting about the bad impact in the quality of life I have now. But some will be about a beautiful and rewarding experiences that made hanging in med school, despite all the downs, worthy.

And yes Grammar Nazis are most welcomed here. English is not my first language and I  had no formal education to ensure quality. So, be nice and teach me. No need to eat me. (See, I can be a rapper as well. I heard you there. Whom am kidden you said! One day folks, One day).